All We Really Want is to Belong

Think about it. From the moment we are born and our umbilical cord is cut, we look for ways to join with others, that is to belong.

Whether you are the first born, born a twin, 12th born, you seek your space and your meaning within this family. Are you the “shy one”, “the rambunctious one”, “the developmentally delayed one”? Are you the “invisible one, who is afraid to speak out” or the “fearless one, who will do anything to belong?” Belonging is about finding your place in the world and it all begins within your family.

Sometimes, people are born in incompetent families – you know the type. Parents who neglect the basic needs of their children; who actually call their children names such as “bitch”, “devil” and other colorful names. This can be because parents needs were not met and they, themselves, felt that nothingness feeling of not being accepted or appreciated. While I realize some people might strike at me for following words, I you listen and have some understanding. When I was growing up in what I call a crazymaking family, with violence and, basically, an environment of terrorist proportions, I felt out of place. I loved my family because they were my family, but I didn’t belong.

Who helped me to survive and belong within myself was God. That’s right, God. It’s almost as if it’s a sin to talk about God these days, but I assure you, I wouldn’t be writing these words now, if God didn’t look down on me and speak to my heart, “Trust me…you are not alone.” I begin to hear the words day in and day out. And when I held on to God’s words "I am Holy Presence" and I, too, felt a sense of Holiness. These words echoed such that I found my core self and how to belong beyond my family’s crazyness.

Be it, as a child, a teen, an adult, I believe that the depth of despair can be lifted by God’s words, “Trust me”. It’s almost like the words lift one’s spirit to see beyond the edge of despair, to see t he world in a different light and to claim your place in the world. It really is true; stop, listen and see for yourself.